Friday, May 18, 2012

Consider the Pear

Consider the pear
as many  poets do
the asymmetrical swell,
wide berth, heavy hipped,
rounded like woman.

Thin skin,
barely stretches over flesh,
so easily bruised,
so tempting when ripe.
Complex and divine.
Handle with care.
Shaped like the womb
of the Great Mother,
dressed in a blush of pink,
dappled and mottled
sienna and azo.

It is the fetching way
in which it sits
atop the table,
leaning to the left,
stem curved as if pointing
to some unseen origin.
Lumpy, bumpy, heavy hipped,
Not at all like me.
Well, sometimes like me,
well, often like me,
rounded like a woman.

Thin skin,
barely stretches over flesh,
so easily bruised,
so tempting when ripe.
Complex and divine.
Handle with care.

Monday, April 4, 2011

The Power of a Woman

When did we learn to believe more in the power of those around us, than in our own mystical power as women? Women are made of magic and of healing and of empathy for other souls connected. A woman carries within her the inventive force to build and shape new surroundings, the desire for instinctual protection for the weak, and the ability to bring forth life.

We birth creativity, transporting it from our soul spirit. From there, it is shaped and cared for, shared with those around us, and in the process, we lay open and bare to the acceptance or rejection of that soul creation. Whether we dance or paint, sing or sculpt, write or make music, women are instinctual authors – delivering life, designing visual art, giving rise to melodies, molding tender spirits… creating, creating, creating.

We birth healing. It has been said that the divine feminine within us will be what heals the earth. Within us we have a quiet place that calls us to nurture and mend. We instinctually protect children and animals. When we allow our full emotions they bring forth healing of our psyche. We are the lovers, the mystics, and the medicine women. We hug away hurt feelings, kiss scrapes on knees, offer a shoulder to a grieving friend. We cook for the bereaved, we write in journals, we listen and cry and laugh our way into many healings. We have been the foundation of the family. We are far more accepting of what is different. We see beyond the desire for power toward the need for peace. We are the peacemakers, when we are not working against ourselves.

We birth our children, bringing them forth from the womb - a place of darkness and warmth - into the harsh light of day. With that comes a vast responsibility. From this fragile and dependent state our children learn about love and comfort, as well as abandonment and betrayal. And we must soften their experiences by cradling them as they grow. We must instill in them their inherent value and worth. We must convince our children that they are the most marvelous creatures in the world. We must trust in who they are and show them they are worthy of our trust. And we must teach them the reverence of all things living.

I cannot think of more mystery and power than that which is contained within a woman.

***

When I was a little girl, my mother seemed forever pregnant with the four additional babies that came behind me, as well as the miscarriages that happened in between. In short order I became the “big sister” at two years old and forever held the title of eldest.

I have read that the eldest is considered the ‘hero’ in the pecking order of birth – high achievers, motivated, detailed, responsible and determined. I don’t think I ever felt much like a hero and certainly didn’t understand exactly what a hero should do - such a monumental role for one so young. In fact, in many ways, I rebelled against that role. I do know, however, that I missed having my mother all to myself, once I was dethroned by the next sibling in line.

I missed being the only one cradled, crooned to, and rocked into blissful sleep. I missed the days of watching my mother craft with her fibers, teaching me how to hold a needle or how to twist my wrist so the crochet hook slid through the wool. I missed watching her sketch pretty ladies and design ball gowns with sequence on the paper before me. Her time to dedicate to her own talents waned as she birthed my siblings and as each child was added to our family, so did her lack of time - and the distance widened between my mother and I. Before long I slid over the threshold of teenagehood – that awkward alien era of friction.

My mother’s insecurities combined with the hectic pace of five children. Her frustrations and stresses multiplied. As a child, my mother did not have the knowledge imparted to her to use the power hidden within, and thus her own self concept was compromised and emotional absences were created. I drew closer to my father, he becoming bigger than life itself.

Little girls often see their fathers through veiled eyes of perfection and their mothers are reduced to their most threatening competition. When did it become so?

***

In ancient days, women kept alive the bond between a mother and daughter, passing along that connection to the next generation, and the ones that followed. Women shared their crafts and celebrated their cycles. Daughters of daughters of daughters lived in community – the eldest of them all imparting the wisdom of life, and this wisdom trickling down to the youngest one, wide-eyed in woman’s mysteries.

Woman’s mysteries are to be honored and held sacred. For generations, they have been connected with the cycle of the moon, the author of the earth’s tides. The pull of this cycle is so powerful that women who live and work in close proximity find themselves in step with each other as their cycles regulate together. But we live in a society where the natural progression of monthly cycles is seen as an embarrassment – a repulsive part of life that must be resigned to. We learn many slang names in our effort to hide and minimize the magical power of our moon times. We hurl insults disguised as jokes in reference to the swell of emotions that wax and wane during this blessed cycle. Though young girls look forward to their first menses, shortly thereafter they learn to regularly dread the signs.

Wouldn’t it be ideal if all humanity celebrated with their daughters the gift of the moon season within their own body? It should be a time that grandmothers, mothers, daughters and aunts gather together in celebration – and this celebration should continue in thought and attitude. It should continue for the length of their seasons until the celebration of cronehood and the ending of the menses - where yet another celebration should begin. It should be a time where fathers bear gifts and give honor to the daughters that cross the threshold as a maiden. This blessed time carries within it the power to nurture children within the womb and bear the following generation into our sacred world for future healings. Yet, most do not recognize the importance of giving honor to such a natural phase of a woman’s life as their moon times. And mothers and daughters tend to pull away from each other in an uncontrolled emotional upheaval as adolescence comes to bear, never quite understanding the mystery behind it all, never having had the honor passed down from the generation before.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

The Gulf and her pain - 41 days and counting

Weeks ago the Horizon well exploded into a raging fire and sank into the Gulf of Mexico. Since then, oil has spewed from the uncapped pipeline - today is its 41st consecutive day of conintuous gushing, creating new dead zones... hundreds of thousands of barrels of oil... floating and choking the waters and the marshed of Louisiana's coastline. But the surface isn't the only area covered in oil... the weight of the crude oil also causes it to float in huge underwater clouds. Hundreds of thousands gallons of dispersants were used as a preventative measure in a frantic attempt to keep the oil away from the coastline, but it now seems that the dispursants are creating a worse disaster because of its toxicity to marine life.

The sea's entire food chain could suffer years of devastation. Already we see images of bags filled with dead pelicans, sea turtles floating in the waters, young juvenile herons struggling in the oil, and thousands of acres of oyster beds contaminated. The timing during this breeding and nesting season, could not have been worse. And its not over yet. Hurricane season begins on June 1st and it is predicted that this year will yeild a higher number of named storms. Just a lightweight tropical storm can spread the oil everywhere. EVERYWHERE.

I find myself emotional... tears threatening to spill with every image that flashes on the news. My gut hurts just thinking about what we have already lost. When will we (humankind) wake up?

Isn't it bad enough that toxic fertilizers from farmlands all across the midwest wash their poisons into the Mississippi river where they travel to the Gulf and create a dead zone? And now Louisiana gets shafted from below... more poisons reach from south of the state, creeping across the waters - chemical dispursants poured into the water to try to diffuse the oil slick that has been breached from the belly of the Gulf floor.

In two weeks I am to go on a cruise with my daughters and grandchildren and my parents. We leave out of the port of New Orleans... I suppose right through an oil slick. If the ship actually sails, I brace myself for the sight. As an artist... and one with a strong connection to my totem, the blue heron, I wonder what I can do to help. Artists are being called upon to paint these threatened species and the beautiful seascape that is being fouled by humankind. Hopefully auctions, sales, etc, can be a small help in aiding the releif workers and wildlife rescue attempts. Until then, all I can do is pray for an awakening in the hearts of humankind. We need to invest in sustainable, renewable energy sources, focus on energy conservation, recycling and the like... TIME TO WAKE UP, PEOPLE!

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Weeding in the wind

What is it that causes bursts of energy one moment, and lethargy the next? When I've too much in my brain to take care of, I find I go blank, and in those grey spaces I rest. I don't want to do anything, I don't want to create or think of what to do next, I'd rather just sit and feel the wind on my face.... and pull a weed or two.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Quarter Year Gone

I obviously did exactly what I'd hoped to because a quarter turn of the wheel of the year has passed. Actually since moving, I have painted quite a lot, completing six paintings in the last three months. The move itself was laden with problems: utility errors, closing issues, moving delays. But we are settled, happy, and enjoying investigating this lovely coastal community. I spend most days in the art studioor at the water sketching shore birds. I love the fresh air here blowing in from the gulf.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

The new studio in Corpus Christi

Our move to Corpus Christi is almost complete. I sit in a hotel with my husband sleeping soundly and me, well... wide awake (thank you menopause) and pondering our new life here on the gulf coast. We close on our new home and my new studio tomorrow and I anxiously await getting my hands on the keys so I can go in and paint those awful bright yellow walls in my art studio a nice neutral color that won't affect the lighting of my work. Then, the moving van arrives with much of my precious art supplies (I hand carried the most delicate as well as competition pieces in the works) I look forward to finally getting settled and putting all this unrest behind me. It has been too long since I have actively painted and produced for ME, and am looking forward to this new adventure. I wonder where my work will lead me? I feel a change... a bend that I will follow and corner I will turn. It is exciting to know a new slate is before me. It is also time to dust off those notes on my manuscript and put some effort into writing about designing compositions for the watercolorist. Welcome to my new world... Day One in Corpus Christi.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Hopping to the other side.

One broken leg near the ankle, one terrible sinus/cold issue with head pounding so loudly that I can't think... and trying to sell a house and move across the state of Texas in the midst of it all. My dear husband feels completely stressed out and each time he looks at me with an out-of-control, I-don't-know-how-to-help look, I feel guilty! I wish I were feeling better, and certainly wish I had two strong legs to stand on right now. I wish I could take it all away from him so that he doesn't have any more stress on his head, but I can only carry what I can carry, and then some. He will have to carry his part, and then some. And somehow, just somehow... if we put one step (or hop) in front of the other, we will make it to the other side of this.